ABBA – Gold

UMC / Polydor

ABBA - GoldGreatest hits albums don’t count. Everyone knows that. If someone tells you their favourite album is anyone’s Greatest hits, they’re not a serious person. They’re a “whatever’s on the radio” person. They’re a “this is good at dinner parties” person. EVERYONE knows that.

Except when greatest hits albums do count. The Ramones. The Shangri-Las. Queen. When a band’s hits really hit. There aren’t many of them, but ABBA Gold is probably the king of them all. Hit after hit after, as a local radio DJ in the Sunday afternoon slot would probably say, hit.

This is, in part, because of ABBA’s almost-unique place in British culture. As an import from the then-exotic Sweden, this rainy island took them to its heart, and they became gay icons, the soundtrack to people photocopying their arses at regrettable office parties, the inspiration for naming Alan Partridge’s children AND chat show, the ageing poster-children for the entire Eurovision Song Contest, and now, in The Space-Year Of Our Lord Two Thousand And Twenty-Two, ACTUAL HOLOGRAMS and the latest of London’s tourist attractions (unless you count queuing to see the dead queen — not them — in a box).

Thing is, all these things are actually quite irrelevant — as a band, their identity has been subsumed by their role as Cultural Phenomenon, in a way that it hasn’t with, say, The Beatles. Perhaps closer to Elvis, all the things SURROUNDING ABBA have taken over from what ABBA actually were — and, with last year’s release of Voyage, are again — top-class artists.




If you say ABBA to someone, it’ll probably trigger thoughts of an anecdote, because everyone’s got one. Mine is being at a friend’s house when a particularly-wasted mate was passed a copy of ABBA Gold and flung it across the room shouting “But I fucking hate ABBA”, thus dispersing across the carpet several lovingly-cut lines of speed and making everyone cross.

Which is unfair, because these are some of the most finely-crafted pop songs this side of Motown. And that’s because ABBA, like all good pop music, recognised the need for great pop music to have a core of sadness. Heartbreak is an essential component.

Even the upbeat “Super Trouper” gave us the opener “I was sick and tired of everything when I called you last night from Glasgow”, possibly the bleakest first line of a number one single until the Manic Street Preachers topped it with “The future teaches you to be alone, the present to be afraid and cold”. There’s a direct line from ’60s girl bands and Motown to the bleakness of the ’80s New Romantic and the gloomy pop of Lana Del Rey, and ABBA are one of the main points of interest along it.




Take “Lay All Your Love On Me”, for example. That one’s not an “oh shit, I’ve been dumped and am very sad” song, it’s ostensibly an “I’m in love and it’s awesome” song, but it’s drenched in those near-ecclesiastical minor-key harmonies. And it’s not in fact all unicorns and rainbows, and contains some absolute fucking MONSTER couplets in: “And I’m possessive, it isn’t nice / You’ve heard me saying that smoking was my only vice” and “I used to think I was sensible / It makes the truth even more incomprehensible”. Given that I don’t even know how to order a beer in Swedish (I mean, don’t worry, I’m pretty sure if I found myself in that situation I’d muddle through somehow) this is amazing to me, a traditionally-shit-at-languages Brit.

Also on the subject of their lyrical content, “Does Your Mother Know?” is perhaps unique for the ’70s and certainly refreshing, in that its narrator is flat-out refusing to sleep with someone because she’s too young. Being sung by one of Europe’s biggest stars at the time makes it all the more noteworthy, given all that we now know and how we’ve moved on in terms of what’s considered acceptable and what’s considered, to be honest, somewhat repulsive.

And, of course, there’s “Fernando” — originally a straight-up heartbreak consolation ballad, but turned into a mournful reminiscence of the Mexican Civil War because Björn Ulvaeus thought that was all a bit trite. The only mis-step here, really, is that if it was played big band style, you could slow it all down and strip it back on “if I had to do the”, add a “motherfuckin’” then bring everyone back in for “same again” and it would be EPIC. But hey, nobody’s perfect, not even ABBA.




The problem in writing about ABBA, of course, is that you already know all these songs. And the problem with releasing this thirtieth anniversary edition of ABBA Gold is that you probably already have the album too.

When I was a teenager, I met a bloke down the pub whose main source of income was breaking into cars, and he was bemoaning the fact that every car he broke into had Michael Jackson’s Bad, and the local second-hand shops were getting suspicious at the amount of copies he was trying to sell them. ABBA Gold has a similar omnipresence, though this new package is rather tasty — heavyweight vinyl with a gold option, or ’80s-baiting cassette — and yours may be a little battered by now. Perhaps from being flung across a room along with everyone’s drugs.

Bang it on, clear your mind of everything you associate with it, and revel in the majesty of some of the finest pop songs ever put to tape.

-Justin Farrington-

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