The Mean Fiddler, London
30 April 2002
Just in time for Mayday, who better to start the riot early than everyone’s favourite shouty German anarchist popkid, Alec Empire? And, truth be told, he doesn’t disappoint. Support Leech Woman attempt to get with the whole Empire thing by scowling a lot, but, let’s fucking face it, in a scowling contest with the boy Empire he’s gonna come out laughing, if that makes any sense. Although, in actuality, of course, he comes out scowling like more motherfuckers than you could POSSIBLY imagine. And proceeds to rock the asses of more snow leopards than David fucking Attenborough has ever DREAMED of. (And yes, I know capitals are the tool of a madman- I’d have written this review in green biro if I could.)
“Everything Starts With A Fuck” he proclaims, but that’s only half the truth- in the DHR noise utopia, everything starts with a “fuck you”- and a “fuck you” that Rage Against The Machine (much as I love `em) could only imagine in their deepest, darkest, most Guevara-fucking wet dreams. He shouts. He swears. He shoots. He scores. Prison style. And the consumate Stooges-meets-Ministry electronic rampage that is “Addicted to You” sets the fucking place on fire. While Empire’s putting on the whole ROCK STAR act (which he does, incidentally, a fuck of a lot better than those who actually have the title, undeserving though they may be- he struts, pouts, does the mic-stand thing, and every inch of him screams “Crowley was wrong- every man and woman ain’t a star after all- I’M the motherfucking star, and the rest of you COULD GET HERE IF YOU TRIED”.
Inspirational, in the way Punk was supposed to be, before it became shorthand for “English local colour- you know, those fuckers on the postcards with the funny haircuts”), yeah, WHILE he’s doing all that, Nic Endo‘s standing there, implacable behind facepaint and computer, carving the coolest bits from the Eternal Block Of Noise. With total precision – and here’s the perpetual DHR dichotomy: perfectly fashioned chaos. Ordered randomness. Noise as a tool, or a weapon expertly deployed. With more precision than the US Army have ever learned of.
Let’s cut this short, shall we?
Q- So, Emu, was it any good then?
A- Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. I’m deaf.
(Q hurriedly puts her original question on paper)
A- (shouting) OH FUCK YES.
–Deuteronemu 90210, the Destroyer–
