Label: Rehab Format: CD
So. Imagine the guy from Electric Six has managed to spend all your money, pump you full of drugs and take you to a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar. And the first thing you hear is a pumping Electro version of the Stooges‘ “I Wanna Be Your Dog”. No, not Alec Empire‘s “Addicted To You“, which took the same riff and straped it to the front of a tank: this is a down and dirty, sleazy floorshow cover. And it’s ace. So begins the journey of decadence that is Futon‘s debut album Never Mind The Botox, an Anglo-Asian blend of sex, drugs and Hi-NRG Electropop. Hailing from Thailand, Japan and the UK, Futon bizarrely enough include among their ranks Bee, who once upon a time was the elfin genius behind Into A Circle‘s Burroughs-obsessed Goth-pop masterpiece Assassins. Which this is nothing like.
Dripping with spunk and fake fur, Never Mind The Botox has moments of electronic beauty (“Yulay Butterfly” sounds like Kraftwerk and Yellow Magic Orchestra soundtracking Neuromancer) rubbing up against (well, frotting, actually) high-camp Disco (“Gay Boy”) and Sleazepop that recalls “Sex Dwarf”-era Soft Cell (Fuck Machine”). Top-of-the-range, fresh-from-the-shelf 21st Century electronics blend seamlessly with the best noises the 80s had to offer, while the lyrics trawl through the sleazier end of sex, drugs and, er… steak. In my ideal Cyberpunk utopia (or, indeed, if Ridley Scott had done a whole bunch of MDMA before shooting Blade Runner) cities would be filled with enormous screens on which Futon would perform while down below all that crazy dark future shit was going on.
For all its shallow fun, there’s a dark muso intelligence lurking in these songs. The part where “Gay Boy” effortlessly segues into a steal from Bowie‘s “Heroes”, transformed into “I… I can be gay… and you… you can be led astray” is a thing of joy indeed, as is the aforementioned Stooges cover. Although something about the very feel of the band definitely makes these moments seem more like cheeky theft than homage, and all the better for it. It’s the kind of music that makes me want to dress in rubber and wear a neon pink feather boa, and possibly some kind of silly hat. But, see, I’m in my thirties, and have a beer gut and (at the moment of writing) a beard. So if you all go and buy this you can do it instead, and I won’t have to. Which would be good news for everyone, including your stereo.
-Deuteronemu 90210 Is Gonna Take You To A Gay Bar, Gay Bar, Gay Bar-
